During this lovely fall season, I had the pleasure of visiting the Vida Americana: Mexican Muralists Remake American Art, 1925–1945 exhibit in the Whitney Museum of Art in NYC. Along my stroll of studying each piece of art in that exhibit, I came across several Diego Rivera bodies of work that he contributed to this theme, and I spotted about three portraits mastered by his beloved wife Frida Kahlo – the surrealist yet realistic painter.
“I never paint dreams or nightmares. I paint my own reality.” – Frida Kahlo
I’ve come across her pieces at exhibitions a few times, at The Bronx Botanical Garden, Museo delle Culture in Milan, and at the Brooklyn Museum. Next, I would love to go to Museo Frida Kahlo in Mexíco City. I’m a huge fan of hers, as you can see. I’ve always deeply appreciated all 55 of her self-portraits painted in vibrant colors, exquisite details, and full of intense emotions. And though I’ve seen her work many times, this time was different.
This time I paused looking at the work, not looking at it with my usual excitement but with sadness. It felt like it hit me instantly; Frida Kahlo did not know her self-worth. Seeing just three of her pieces in the exhibit juxtaposed against countless pieces by Diego felt like a reminder of whom Frida may have been – Diego’s shadow. I thought she could never fully accept this, and that her struggle was on display in her artwork.
Frida Kahlo, Self-Worth, and Other Life Complications
The 1920s was a different time. I don’t claim to know her struggle. However, I’m certain it wasn’t easy being a woman of color, an artist, a feminist, disabled, and in a complicated marriage. Although it was a different time, I still wish she hadn’t settled. Time has seen her pave the way for so many other women. I wish she knew her true worth.
To know the artist, you have to know her physical health history to understand what influenced her life decisions and artwork. Frida Kahlo had several health complications beginning in her youth, which must have impacted her self-confidence and sense of self-worth.
At six years old, she was diagnosed with polio, which left her with a slightly crooked right foot. In 1925, she was involved in a serious bus accident. As a result of leg and pelvic injuries she sustained, she had three miscarriages in her life.
Being unable to bear children broke Frida’s heart, evidenced by her artwork reflecting on the grief and mourning in Henry Ford Hospital (1932) and Frida And The Miscarriage (1932).
Artwork Dedicated to Her Marriage to Diego Rivera
Frida created several art pieces about her chaotic marriage with Rivera. Her painting Frida and Diego Riviera (1931) is an acclaimed double portrait she painted a couple of years after being married. The piece reflects the bond they shared, both having wandering eyes looking elsewhere but at each other, yet still holding hands. This resonates with the excessive infidelity that went on in their marriage; Diego cheated with Kahlo’s sister and countless other women, and Frida cheated with both men and women.
The 1937 painting Memory, the Heart highlighted the pain Kahlo felt after her husband’s affair with her sister Christina. The Two Fridas (1939) shows Kahlo twice after their divorce. In one Frida wore a Mexican Tehuana costume depicting the Frida that Diego adored, and the other Frida was rejected and betrayed wearing a European dress. This perpetuated her rebellious acts of continuous cheating and cutting off her hair that Rivera loved in her painting Self-Portrait With Cropped Hair (1940).
“There have been two great accidents in my life. One was the trolley, and the other was Diego. Diego was by far the worst.”- Frida Kahlo
If I could write a love note to Frida, it would go something like this:
My dear sweet Frida,
You are the essence of beauty itself. Though you’re having many ups and downs in your marriage doesn’t mean you should be planted in a union no longer serving you. All the trips you’ve accompanied Diego with need to end. Your loyalty is going unseen to an undeserving partner that does not add to your table he continuously takes from you.
You have to love yourself a little more and learn to feel enough and deserve better by letting this relationship go. You were never his shadow, but you stood behind him, romanticizing a relationship that has already failed. Despite the love you both had for each other, love itself isn’t enough; you’re in a toxic union filled with trauma.
Maybe you thought nobody would love you because of your health complications, or perhaps you thought he was the way out to be discovered as a woman artist. But you never fully got to explore that because of your loyalty to him and distractions by the multiple affairs you’ve had. The love story doesn’t always have to be with a partner; it could be with yourself, your art, and your loved ones. You deserved so much more, and I’m truly sorry you never got to experience that.
Sincerely,
Ajeé
The Lesson to Be Learned from Frida Kahlo’s Life
Like Frida Kahlo, many women live parallel lives simply not taking the time to discover and appreciate their self-worth. Your self-love journey simply starts with you choosing to hold people accountable to your standards. Knowing your self-worth closes many doors of unnecessary drama and relieves stress worrying about a partner that doesn’t deserve you.
I will forever appreciate Frida Kahlo’s work. Fifty plus years later, and she is still the muse. Her artwork was a beautiful autobiography of her life, encompassing her emotions, love, pain, hatred, guilt, family, and political beliefs. I will always be grateful for the sea of emotions that all her bodies of work carry – I just wish she had loved herself a little more.
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